St George’s Players, you may know
Each Jan’ put on a “New Year” show.
This time decided that we’d do
An Irresistible Revue.
Commencing with St George’s Band
Who “Walked on Air” and sounded grand.
Piano, flutes and clarinets
Were played as solos and duets,
Drums, violin, bassoon, guitar,
How multi-talented we are!
Madame “B” sees all
We saw Clairvoyant Madame “B”
With crystal ball and palmistry,
Such expertise to find it seems
A subject fit to grace Jane’s dreams.
The “article” substandard found,
No bargain even at a pound.
that’s a funny thing to say
A sketch about a fretting child
Afraid a wolf was lurking wild
Beyond the portal, there to find
Her Dad who’d left his keys behind.
Strictly Rudolph / Jazz
Val and Geoff were next, a chance
For us to see our experts dance
Whilst demonstrating how it’s done
The Jive and Rumba looked great fun.
The Lighthouse Keeper’s daughter
The Lighthouse Keeper, newly paid,
Whilst at his work, was there waylaid,
His earnings stolen, left for dead.
As on the lighthouse floor he bled,
His wife and daughter, hardy pair,
Successfully, a doctor there
In time, were able to supply.
And so the Keeper did not die,
The daughter and the doctor wed
So happily the tale ended.
The interval was next and we
Had biscuits and a cup of tea.
Entr’Acts
Three sketches short but all great fun
And most ingeniously done
Locating wallets, cleaning teeth,
Revealing of the face beneath
The “Freak” Exhibit, who took fright
Of us the audience each night.
America
The song “America” all know
Is from the famous West End show.
Take a Pew
A sermonal recitation
By a Priest on visitation,
Despite the hairdo, I am sure
We’d met this gentleman before.
Flanders and Swann
Two songs, the first was sad indeed
Of love between a poor bindweed
And honeysuckle more refined
Who never with her beau entwined.
The very worse thing you could do
Should you encounter a Gnu
To call him Elk or Hearty Beast
Enrages him to say the least.
Poem
A teacher felt the need to chide
A pupil whose Granma had died.
’Twas obviously the useful one
Who got the fam’ly ironing done.
Which only proves, it seems to me
How very useful Grans can be.
If I were not
St George’s Men would rather be
If not at Bank or HBC
Or chugging on a narrowboat
(Or something larger, but afloat!)
Or minding kids, or driving trains
Each one much satisfaction gains
From Parish duties various
Both useful and gregarious.
Whilst learning at the very least
The “secret calling” of our priest -
Stray vicars they don’t wander far -
Just moonlight at the nearest bar!
The Porcupine
An unsuspecting Porcupine
Most carefully she preened each spine
Then sure that she now looked her best
She settled down to take a rest.
But hardly had she closed her eyes
Occurred a most painful surprise,
Some careless child upon her sat
And very nearly squashed her flat!
Most understandably upset
This girl deserved what she would get!A hundred prickles in her bum
Would send her squealing back to mum, Resulting in the need had she
Of interesting dentistry.
As always ending with a song
To “Oompapa” all sang along.
It was a splendid show, indeed
Even our local “News” agreed.
With thanks to cast and backstage crew
And all the other people who
Gave time and talents to our show.
A final word before I go,
It’s not too late for you to see
The entire show on DVD.
Janet Johnson
“An Irresistible Revue” is available on DVD, price £5, in aid of Church Funds. For your copy contact John Johnson. 023 9226 5634.
