This Eulogy was delivered by Alice’s daughter, Karen Hawkes, at the funeral, on Friday 31st July at Oaks Crematorium.
To start at the beginning, Mum was born in Nicosia, Cyprus, on 2 March 1950, to a Greek mother and a Scottish father. She had two older sisters, Jeannie and Mary, and a few years later, baby Annie came along to complete the family.
Her childhood was an unconventional one, as Mum was raised in Tanzania, East Africa. A wonderful chapter where lots of adventures began. Mum always described herself as a tomboy who loved the outdoors and could always be found either exploring or hanging from a tree. One tree in particular that the girls came across was in somebody’s garden and brimming with figs, and so together the sisters hatched a plan. Mum was to climb the tree and retrieve some fruit. What can only be described as unfortunate timing meant that the owner of the house chose that exact moment to mow his rather enormous lawn, and so Mum lay in wait at the very top of the tree for him to finish his job and disappear.
When she grew bored of waiting, she popped her little head up, shot the man a winning smile, and simply shouted ‘Hello!’. Rather than a wave in return and the offer of some free figs that she was hoping for, Mum was chased off the property along with her sisters and told never to return.
The adventures didn’t stop when the family was all together. The roads in Tanzania are mostly long, mud tracks, and Mum used to tell many stories of the times that their family car got stuck in the mud. Without any fuss, Mum and her sisters would hop out, hitch up their skirts and push the back of the car with all their might. Usually this mini manpower was enough, although one time the family were stuck out overnight, miles from any civilisation, eaten alive by mosquitoes and listening to the rumble of elephants around them.
It truly seems that there was never a dull moment in Mum’s childhood. Even her teacher, a Welsh lady, who taught the girls in her back garden, was accompanied by some 50 cats, 4 dogs and a monkey! Perhaps this is where Mum’s love of animals began.
When Mum got older, the family moved to Hayling Island where she met her husband Martin. They started a family young, and as a result, Mum and Dad had to work incredibly hard to make ends meet, often juggling multiple jobs at once. From a barmaid, to a cleaner, to a crumpet delivery lady, Mum juggled extreme hard work and long hours whilst also taking care of us, and we never went without. We took lots of trips at the weekend and were able to go on a holiday most years, wedging ourselves in the car with all the camping gear and the dog or going to the seaside.
The last job Mum had was in the pain clinic at QA Hospital – through this she found lots of fulfilment and made lots of friendships.
When Mum was 46, she became a Granny. It was around this time that she took the reigns from her Mum as chief baker of the family. She simply did not seem capable of showing up somewhere empty-handed. From homemade sausage rolls, to her cheese loaf, to a Christmas cake and mince pies at Christmas, Mum did exactly what Grannies are meant to do – spoil the family rotten. This sentiment was of course extended to the animals. Our Labrador Teagan was greeted each week with a bouquet of broccoli, Dexter the German Shepherd with dentastix and Saffy the cat with a few tins of tuna. We are almost convinced that this scenario played out in dozens of your homes too!
Mum’s 70th birthday marked the start of a beautiful tradition. The family took her on a surprise trip to Budapest. Three action-packed days of sightseeing later and we were all left wondering: ‘Why didn’t we do this sooner?’. Trips to the New Forest, Weymouth, Clitheroe, Porthcawl and Wells followed, with ice creams on the beach, long walks through the drizzly and sometimes torrential countryside, and many nights sat eating cheese boards and playing games over a few drinks. I know I speak for all of us when I say that we will cherish those memories forever.
It would be impossible not to mention the great deal of loss and suffering in Mum’s later years. Each time Mum lost somebody dear to her, a piece of her went with them, but not once did she let it detract from the love and care which she continued to show the rest of us. The way she carried on getting out of bed and making the most of life is truly remarkable, and a strength which we can only all aspire to match as we continue to navigate our own grief.
So, Mum, Granny, Sister, Auntie, Cousin, Friend, Alice – thank you for the impact you had and everything you did for each and every one of us. We will always carry you in our hearts and hold onto all those amazing memories.
We Love You Most – Natasha Hawkes
Last night I dreamed that you came back
Not for us, but for the cats!
They shot to you and snuggled in your lap.
Last week I tried to bake a cake
It turned out dry and overbaked
I longed for all the treats you used to make.
Last month I spoke to two of your friends
And they told me stories of the hands you would lend
There is nothing that friendship cannot mend.
Last Spring I wondered to myself
How on Earth does Granny reach that top shelf?
And how does someone so small hold love of such immense wealth?
Each year we’d go on holiday
From Budapest to Cardiff Bay
I’ll treasure those adventures more than I can say.
And now for the end of each conversation
Which took place fiercely and without question:
Love you Granny
Love you more sweetheart
But now I speak for all of us when I say: we love you most.
